Twenty five years since my going forth,
and no peace of awareness
—not a finger-snap’s worth—
attained.
Having gained no oneness of mind,
I was wracked with lust.
Wailing, with my arms upheld,
I ran amok from my dwelling—
“Or… or shall I take the knife?
What’s the use of life to me?
If I were to renounce the training,
what sort of death would I have?”
So, taking a razor,
I sat down on a bed.
And there was the razor,
placed ready to cut my own vein,
when apt attention arose in me,
the drawbacks appeared,
disenchantment stood
at an even keel:
With that, my heart was released.
See the Dhamma’s true rightness!
The three knowledges
have been attained;
the Awakened One’s bidding,
done.
Origin URL: https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/KN/Thag/thag6_6.html